BOSTON - Well, we've finally reached peak Boston. In the middle of the night on Tuesday, Buy New England Lobsters was finishing up a major truck-based lobster order at the company's Mystic River warehouse location. Workers had loaded $10,000 worth of lobster, pulled from the coast of Boston onto the truck when completely out of nowhere a vagabond thief sprinted onto the scene driving off with the entire shipment.
After some initial confusion, lobster workers jumped into another lobster truck and began giving chase to the first truck. The confrontation came to a head on Medford Street outside of the Boston Fire Department when the rescue lobster truck caught up with the stolen lobster truck. However, the latter refused to stop and, instead, it crashed into the former, as shared by the Boston Herald.
The thief, identified as a twenty-nine-year-old man from Southie, Stephen Woodard, has been charged with a number of crimes, including assault and battery, and theft of a vehicle, per Boston Magazine.
The best part - no one was hurt in the ordeal. Now come the jokes about something like this that can only go down in Southie! Making light of the situation, the marketing coordinator of Buy New England Lobsters, Peter Lagorio, shared:
"It’s probably the most Boston thing that’s ever happened. It was a very Boston experience for everyone involved."
Lagorio is not wrong either. The jokes immediately started to appear on Twitter from several users.
Me: People should stop caricaturing Boston.— Jason Schwartz (@JasonSchwartz) December 18, 2019
Boston: A man from Southie stole a truck loaded with $10,000 in lobsters, prompting another lobster truck to give chase, resulting in a crash between the two lobster trucks. https://t.co/8tHAXgqv9R
It’s all fair. The SNL sketches, Ted. We brought it on ourselves. Boston’s most famous art theft involved guys wearing fake mustaches to pass as cops.— kate sullivan (@teadrunkkate) December 19, 2019
All this needs is a Dunkin Donuts tie-in to make it *perfect*— Chris Pariso (@ChrisPariso) December 18, 2019
There's plenty of good ideas bubbling beneath the surface of these jokes. I think a film adaptation of this story needs to be greenlit immediately. The studios best suited to tackle it are Fox Searchlight, Netflix, or A24. They have to cast John Krasinski as the director with Chris Evans as the lobster thief. The cast can be rounded out with the usual Boston suspects like Matt Damon and Geena Davis. It's Best Picture material and there wouldn't really be a close second, either!
Image via Wikimedia Commons